On Anal Healing

Ever since I first began having entheogen-induced spontaneous past-life memories in 2005, I have re-experienced vivid anal traumas. Torture, self-flagellation, concentration camps, molestation, and brutal Inquisition-style devices designed specifically to produce as much pain in the anus as possible.

For so very long, I was convinced that this was because I was gay. That the deep dark secret waiting for me was that I was gay and that this was bad. Now, obviously, I have no problem with anyone else being gay but for me, this was like the worst thing I could be. Why? I don’t know. Shame I’d say if giving easy answers.

Sniffing Out the Trail to Healing

Over the next years, I tried various modalities and explorations to try to get to the root of these experiences. My main attempts revolved around stretching and energy healing. I also began looking at web sites that promote sex toys for anal pleasure. I nearly threw up upon visiting these websites as the physical sensations of just seeing these things was so intense.

Eventually, I did try using a butt plug with a female partner but the sensation was so intense that I began screaming as though I were being attacked.

I kind of let it be for a while.

If At First You Don’t Succeed…

As the years passed, I could not deny that I had both tight hips and an almost unbelievable inability to relax my anal sphincter. The reason that I know this is that as a dancer in the style of popping, muscular isolation becomes highly refined and one begins develops a highly aware proprioceptive sense–you know what’s going on with your body.

While on a short vacation this summer with a friend, I stumbled onto the book “The Art of Sexual Ecstacy” by Margot Anand. The subject of the book is High Sex, which is her modernization of tantra. It is about learning to experience heightened sexual sensation and to move beyond the kind of dim-witted, caveman sexuality of the West into more rarified spaces.

Toward the end of this book, she introduces three concepts: Healing the Yoni (vagina), Healing the Vajra (penis), and Healing the Anus. In the section on healing the anus, she explains that though she was encouraged to leave this section out, the potency and power of anal healing is so remarkable that she would be doing a disservice to humanity to avoid a subject simply because it happens to be taboo at the moment.

Anand lays out a protocol for both men and women for a session of anal healing, which we will now discuss.

It Beings: Healing Uranus

Interesting that Uranus astrologically is about new and unexplored territory, isn’t it?

Anyway, the most important thing by far by far by far 1000% a million times over is a loving partner. Someone who you trust so deeply and who is so caring and sensitive that you have absolutely no hangups whatsoever about exploring this with them. If you don’t have such a person, I feel for you. I encourage you to become a person who can attract such a partner because without this first step, I think it’s going to be like a gazillion times more difficult to do this healing work. Fortunately, you are an omnipotent, eternal being so attracting such a person is well within your grasp.

Once you have a partner, you then go about creating a sacred space, whatever that means to you. The healing massage lasts about an hour and in general both partners should take a turn being the receiver. Interestingly, Anand recommends that the man receives the massage first as she has found that after a man has received, he is much more sensitized and thus able to be gentle and present for the woman. As a side note, Anand says that this anal healing massage is especially profound for men, both because our culture has placed such a taboo on the anus for men and because men have a prostate gland, which is the equivalent of the g-spot for women and can produce incredibly intense orgasms on its own.

Getting back to the healing… Once your space has been sanctified, the massager should say a prayer of thanks for having the opportunity to release trauma for the massagee and then ask permission, both to the massagee and to the massagee’s anus.

Once all of this is set up, the receiver will get into whatever position makes them most comfortable and feel most safe and the giver will begin my lovingly massaging their entire inner thigh/butt/genital area with a whole lotta oil, preferably raw coconut oil as it is the most natural, smells good, and is highly lubing. Do not underestimate the oil. The anus is not lubricated and is extremely sensitive, especially since for the most part no one has ever loved it.

You then slowly slowly ever-so-slowly begin inserting a finger into the anus, stopping each time the receiver feels tension or fear or the anus contracts. As a side note, my anus contracted so hard as the finger touched it that it began cutting off circulation to my partner’s finger. This is very very very deep work indeed and a testament to the power of our musculature.

I know this is somewhat cavalier, but I would say that other than these basics, pretty much do what you feel. Be intuitive and incredibly slow and gentle. It is so important for the receiver to communicate if they need the massage to slow down or they just need someone to hold a certain spot, even for five or ten minutes at a time.

And let me just reiterate that this is incredibly intense. It doesn’t get much more intense than anal stimulation, especially at first. I had several images and stories and memories come up and cried quite a bit. As the crying subsided, my anus relaxed and the trauma released.

I was only able to receive about 1/4″ of an index finger on my first go around. This is quite OK. Rome was not healed in a day. You have time. Use it. Go slow.

I Recommend This Very Highly

I have about five things now that I think every human should do: ayahuasca, Vipassana, live in an Earthship, colon cleansing, and now anal healing massage. These are the most profound experiences I have ever had in this body and think their positive transformative power is so great that it’s pretty much insane that people would die without experiencing each of them.

The Anus and perineum is the physical location of the root chakra, which is our entire connection to that which puts the physical in physical reality. Mortality, family, blood, body, pain, it’s all right there. And for some strange reason, we live in a culture where this area has been so taboo’d that some people will read this and think I’m a “faggot” or a “homo” just because I talk about it. From a biological perspective, it’s kind of bizarre.

Now, I’m sure you can give me tired explanations about this area being associated with bacteria or whatever, but I mean, this makes a back massage look like literally nothing. It’s like comparing the power of a Ferrari Testarossa to a tricycle. And it’s right there, on all of our bodies, each and every one of us, untouched, just waiting to be explored.

I personally have stored so much shame and self-hatred and inferiority here that the releasing of it is like taking enormous wooden planks off of my shoulders that I didn’t even know I was carrying. The feeling is like IT’S OK TO BE ME. I AM NOT BAD. I AM ME. And for what it’s worth, this exploration has been with a female, so straight guys rejoice. You too can have this experience. I swear it won’t “make you gay,” not that there’s anything wrong with that.

If you are interested in this, I highly recommend looking up Margot Anand’s book. The section on anal healing is only five pages long out of a 400-page book but she gives a great explanation that mine does little justice to.

I feel strongly that we are moving into the final frontiers of healing, into the deepest darkest caverns as we prepare to shift dimensionally, where we will shift our mode of exploration from healing to creativity. I encourage everyone to look within and in the gentlest and safest way possible to begin going into these super-dark areas with love and courage and releasing all of the negativity that we have all hidden away there.

For as Bashar says, there is nothing we can discover about ourselves that could ever make us anything less than we are: an infinite particle of All That Is with the power to be, have, and do anything we can imagine.

Namaste homies.

Comments (6)

  1. Otis! I love this! I have experience with this. It is so true that most men are not open to it, little do they know, it is extremely pleasurable for them, as you stated in your writing. I am blessed with a trusting, loving intimate relationship and I am so grateful for that, as it allows me to work through past life sexual trauma as well. I have one very specific memory that haunts me, in which  I am being tortured, vaginally, with some form of hot iron or metal. It is an extremely horrific memory and has caused me to be quite rigid at times during this life cycle. I have been doing womb work lately (kind of like heart meditation but centered in the womb), to really try and get in touch with my feminine center. I know through certain energy healing work I have done, that I wasn’t really thrilled about being born as a woman in this life time and my challenge is to learn how to receive. The feminine power is all about presence and receiving. What a challenge!! Thanks so much for your honest sharing. I love it. Much love and blessings your way.

    • Wow. Thank YOU for YOUR sharing. It’s the kind of sharing that makes me feel like I’m not alone/crazy. I relate to your experiences very much. I think the only way that I have found is slow and steady and loving. Congratulations on attracting a good partner. It seems that’s really important

  2. a brave and eloquent piece of writing… thank you for sharing your story. It’s hugely encouraging to find this in a first ‘random’ google search on this subject. And thanks for the book suggestion too. I’d also highly recommend David Deida’s work (especially his book for men ‘The Way of the Superior Man’ and ‘The Anatomy of Female Arousal’ by Sheri Winston. Both very accessible, intelligent and thought-provoking books which also touch on this subject.

  3. I’ve heard a little about this and have had some experience with it. I had some trauma when I was younger .
    A healer did a full massage that ended with her massage my butt then anally .
    In all the massage lasted about 2 hours and helped release some memories that I had forgotten about.
    It took quite a bit of time to relax the inter ring and help me loosen up enough to receive her finger fully.
    The full experience was emotional charged, ending in the best release in years and a great feeling on being relaxed.
    Better not being a tight ass

  4. Before the stupid Christian religion a normal successful man was bisexual. Being only with a woman or only being gay was never totally fine. And if so will it bring side effects in your life. Well they did a good job in the last 2 thousand years.

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