On Criticism

So after my last newsletter, I received a lot of very nice responses. Very thoughtful, very kind, very congratulatory. That kind of thing.

But of course, this being the Internet and all…

I also received this:

I once read a blog about an English guy who had decided to bicycle around the world….but basically he got homesick. You get road fatigue, unless you have a destination and greater goal, purpose. My BF is the grand vagabond, he drove from NY to Buenos Aires, he slept on beaches and entered villages that only had one egg to eat. Got stuck in no man’s land. Imagine if you had trekked across Africa, malaria, dysentery, imagine walking you way across foreign lands like a soldier or a slave… Imagine losing your ego and writing, not about you, but the people you encounter, the way they live, then maybe you have really started traveling, until then, you are transporting your ego to different places, but still self absorbed, you see?

Criticism

I’m gonna be real honest with this one right here. It really made me angry at first. I don’t personally know the person who wrote it. I found it very rude and unnecessary. It’s like… umm.. unsubscribe. If you are trying to be helpful, like, learn to write. Stuff like that. It all came up for me.

I wanted to write a big fuck you response. Go fuck yourself this and that. This is what I used to do to people. I think that part of the reason I have been so hesitant to express myself more is for fear of this. That I react to mild criticism with a nuclear weapon. Like wanting to kill people.

And yes, this is more about myself. What some may call self-absorbed, but what I call revealing. Which is what I personally love most about the artists that I consider my heroes–Woody Allen, Jay-Z, Jack Johnson, Illmaculate, Terence McKenna. It’s mostly about them. And through their experience, I see my own experience. I like that. So I do that. Or at least attempt to.

In Which I Go Deeper

Jenny has really been pushing me on the non-duality front as of late. Everything is me. So I let my initial feelings of anger pass. I felt them and sat with them and watched them bubble and boil and said, there’s gotta be something more to this. There has got to be a reason this is showing up in my life. Reality is nothing but a mirror.

And then, boom! I realized that I criticize people. A lot. Very callously too. “Oh that’s a bad idea.” “Oh that’ll never work.” “Oh your arm looks terrible when you make that motion.” And I think, well, I’m being helpful. I’m genuinely looking out for the person. And so I got what I gave, which is of course the third law of creation. What you put out is what you get back.

And I didn’t like it. At all. So thank you, person I don’t personally know, for showing me what it feels like to be on the receiving end of criticism. You have shown me that I don’t want to do that anymore. I intend gentleness. Both toward myself and toward others. And I thank you for your gift.

And one other thing. Please, always remember, there’s an unsubscribe link on my newsletter 😉

Comments (2)

  1. I really like the quoted comment. That person spoke a truth and wrote it eloquently. The kimd of truth she speaks of is an old paradigm way of life; Buddha and many saints did that. In New Reality its ok to be self absolved, the journey is all about me, as in the great artists you listed, Woody Allen, Terrance McKenna, etc. Bravo for daring to turn the table on yourself and see that you actually do the same thing to other people. Thats good, thats really good. On a deeper level, she attacked you and you attack her back. Youre doing it – use nuclear weapon in respond to a comment – right now in this post. The only way not to continue this of violance is to drop tge weapon all together and see the deeper truth the comment is pointing to that really is hurting you, are you ready to hear it? The only proper respond is appreciation acceptance and forgive the lady who wrote tge comment for she is but you in a mirror.

    Are you ready for what really hurts? You ain’t no big hero, you transported your ego to different places and got homesick so you came home. Once you really see yourself in this light you’ve transported the journey to a true place in your heart where Woody and Terrance went – deeply into the interior landscape of their hearts. Untill then, youre a guy who went out for a while got homesick and came home. Funny how the realization IS the salvation itself.

    I love you so much, Mahco! I appreciate your presence in my life. Your curiousity, your purity, your real intention to know yourself is very heart warming to me.

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