On Going For It
The last time I wrote one of these newsletters was about 4 years ago. As I’m sure is true of your life as well, much has changed in that time. I don’t want to spend too much time catching up, so Imma just make a quick lil list and we’ll consider ourselves caught up
I got married, I got my first taste of stardom, I lived in a yurt in downtown LA. I also lived in Paris, Hong Kong, and Tijuana. I became a hardcore gardener. I legally changed my name. My marriage almost fell apart. I went on a vision quest. I nearly went insane. I joined circuses. I left circuses. I street performed. I failed. I nearly became a CTO at a tech startup. I was a freelance web designer. I stopped being a freelance web designer. I wrote a book. I made about 100 videos and 2 albums. I started beatboxing. I started rapping. I got naked at Burning Man. I started liking myself… mostly.
And so here I stand here today, basically right back where I started from 4 years ago. With a lil bit more humility, waaaaaay more dedication, a wife who I find more to love about each day, and a very clear sense of who I am, why I’m here, and what I’m doing.
It feels good.
So now that we’re all pseudo-caught up, let’s be like those good friends who just jump right back into the deep conversation they were having the last time they saw each other years ago.
So it’s 2012 guys. Foreal. The world is changing. 2 years ago now feels like 20 years ago. Last time I wrote you, very few of you were on Facebook. There was no “global slowdown.” We were only in mostly unknown territory, rather than the completely nobody knows what the hell is going to happen with anything anymore situation we now find ourselves in.
I feel good about it. I feel really good about it actually. It’s more clear to me each day that all of the polarization happening in all aspects of reality is giving every single human being an opportunity to look into the metaphysical mirror and find out if they like what they see.
I encourage all of you to take said look because everything’s wide open right now. It really is the era when any of us can change the whole world. With websites, with video, with viral activism, with Kickstarter, with our new idea, our new technology, our new technique, our new understanding, our new business model.
Being someone who always wants to be practicing what I preach, that’s what I’m doing. So without further ado…
I am on a trip around the world, street performing.
Just writing that feels SO DAMN GOOD. This has been my dream for so long, since at least I went to Israel in 2005. I have been avoiding it, pushing it away, pretending I don’t really want to do it, and hopefully, building up to it for the past 7 years and now it’s go time. I have already begun and it was important to me that I had actually started before I wrote you guys. I didn’t want to be one of those “talkers.”
I have become slightly obsessed with Steve Jobs and have watched (and rewatched) hour after hour of interviews with him. One of the best I have seen involves him explaining that innovation means saying NO to things. It’s easy to say YES. To say NO, over and over, to what is only sort of important, to what you only sort of like, to people you only kind of like, to dreams you only sort of have, is what leads you to become who you are meant to be. Focus. That one thing. Like a samurai.
As I say no, more and more, to that which is extraneous, that which is truly important rises evermore to the surface. And I begin to understand why this is so important. And the answer is…… everything is such FUCKING HARD WORK. And yes I use the capitalized form of the phrase FUCKING HARD WORK for emphasis.
I can’t believe how hard it is to make a good street performing show that is 1) good 2) entertaining 3) skillful 4) makes people stick around 5) makes them give you money and 6) is something that you are actually proud of.
I underestimated the amount of work this involves by entire orders of magnitude. I thought I could “throw something together” in 10 or 20 hours of work and that “it’d be all good.” As 100 hours turns into 200 hours and still I don’t have something that I am proud enough of to actually make a video of and show you, I am humbled. Humbled by things that are good. Because I am starting to see how much work actually goes into any. single. thing. you. ever. see. that is actually good. I didn’t get it. I still only barely get it.
It seems that the main gift of this journey is that it provides me with that continual mirror, always showing me who I am. In the past, when I wasn’t completely burning the bridges and following my dreams gung ho, I could more easily avoid that mirror, get distracted, do other things. But now it’s like, nope, there it is. Everyday. Are you doing that one thing? Are you progressing? Are you growing? Are you still on the path?
And so I think that’s what we’ll end on this month. The path. As Don Juan said in the simultaneously underrated and overrated books by Carlos Castaneda, there are really only 2 choices in life. The path with heart and the path without heart.
We are at a time of such massive change that is only just barely eensy-weensy-teensy-meensy beginning, where we as a global civilization are both at the brink of complete ecological/military/economic/social collapse while simultaneously being at the brink of an almost unimaginable technological/galactic/spiritual/erotic utopia that I want to implore you to do one thing.
FOLLOW YOUR FUCKING HEART. ALL THE WAY. 100%. NO BULLSHITTING.
It is my FIRM and SOLID belief that the ONLY thing preventing the world from turning into the most beautiful place in the entire universe is individual humans not knowing what their dream is, not knowing what their heart really wants deep down, and not going for it.
So we have all these morons working in finance who really want to be inventing free energy. We have geniuses thinking about how to get people to click ads more often when in their hearts, they want to be poets, healers, and shamans, but are too scared to really go for it.
FUCKING GO FOR IT. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE.
If you are scared, ok, admit it. Start there. Be scared. But don’t look away from your fear. Stare it in the face. Keep staring at it. Become friends with your fear. DON’T LOOK AWAY. Don’t forget. Don’t let the fear make you forget what your dream is. Remember your dream. Feel the fear. Sit with it. Be with it. Know it.
It will pass. It might take years. You have years. There’s no hurry. As long as you are STARING YOUR DREAM IN THE FACE, you are ALREADY ON THE PATH WITH HEART.
That’s all there is to it. You already are the person you dream of becoming. All that’s left is to enjoy (and agonize over) the process of becoming it.
Please, please, I implore you, do that one thing. I sit here, writing this, still scared, still moving forward, inch by inch, day by day, on my hands and knees, crawling forward, and I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, from the depths of my soul, that it is the best, most worthwhile, most satisfying feeling I have ever felt. In my entire life.
What is your dream? How are you doing with it? I’d like to hear. Write a response on the site. I’d like to hear it. I’ll reply to it. Let’s talk about it. Out in the open. On some “be the change you wish to see” shit. We’re here, floating on this rock in space, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Let’s go for it all the way. It’s 2012 bruh. Do the damn thing.
I love you.