Since I hurt my back in Mexico in the story detailed in last month’s newsletter, I have mostly fallen off of my sun salutation workout regimen. These things happen. That’s why habits are so important.
At the same time, I have begun to wonder if it goes a little deeper than that, considering I died in Mexico. I have begun to wonder if perhaps the dead guy’s ideas and the dead guy’s ways are not my ideas and ways.
The way that this manifests in relation to the sun salutation is that for seven years, I had been rigidly, day in and day out, following a routine to increase my flexibility. While this could be laughed off as a joke of semantics, perhaps there is something deeper to this concept of rigidly working to become more flexible. Maybe the challenges I faced were as mental as they were physical. Perhaps the reason for my physical inflexibility was in part due to my mental inflexibility–my rigidity.
I’d never seriously considered that before.
Yet when I look at the evidence, seven years doing sun salutations and very little gains in terms of any kind of flexibility or strength or balance from when I started, it does make you go hmm. Add this to the fact that the times that I have seen major gains in my flexibility were times when I was just on one, stretching like crazy because I felt like it.
In the past, I would have felt for sure that that wasn’t good enough–waiting for the muse. You can’t just do things when you feel like it. I mean, that’s crazy talk. That’s the path to getting fat and lazy and watching reruns on the couch.
But then that thought made me wonder too…
Isn’t that a fundamental belief that my natural state is lethargic and bad and lazy. That if I don’t rigidly push myself I will fall back into bad habits, rather than effortlessly expanding into better and better feeling habits, habits of strength and health and nutrition and fitness.
My primary focus this year is to be fit. Truly fit. Like sexy fit. I want to find myself sexy. And I want the confidence and energy and go-getterness that I project onto that image. And I want to show myself that I can do it. Built chest, six pack, strong shoulders, firm butt, leg muscles, calf muscles, strong back, and I want awesome flexibility and balance and posture and cardiovascular fitness as well. And impeccable lines in my dancing. Topnotch. I’m willing to work toward this.
Quite hard I might add.
Jenny has become fond of saying that “Seth says desire is work done.” This also sounds crazy at face value. Our whole world is constructed to tell you that this is a lie. That desire is dreaming, wishful thinking, insubstantial, the realm of talkers and fakes. That’s certainly how I’ve always felt.
But maybe it’s not true. Maybe it’s only not true for most people because there are so many deep belief systems that involve having to DO something to get what they want that when they just dream, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure and struggle–they think it won’t work so it doesn’t.
I’m ready to release that. I can feel the power in this choice. To take on a new belief system, that maximum health, that being in excellent shape, is my natural state. That I will achieve it effortlessly. That I will wake up and synchronistically be attracted to foods and activities and exercises and games and thought patterns which are in line with this belief system. I don’t have to DO anything or keep to-do lists or plans or progress charts to make this happen. Just follow my excitement.
Mind you, this goes against literally ALL conventional wisdom on exercise. “Lack of measuring equals lack of progress.” They may be right. But I have this sinking suspicion they’re only right because that’s their belief system. On a deeper level, it’s a belief system that they are inherently bad. That excellent health and strength is NOT their natural state. That they must PUSH themselves into this state. So rather than effortlessly attracting these experiences, they must hammer them in. Slogging away in a kind of perverse masochistic pleasure.
I am convinced there must be a better way than this. And hey, what’s the worst that happens. I fail? As Bashar says, “so what.”
Becoming a New Version of Yourself
I think that’s gonna be coming up for a lot of people these days. Realizing that some sacred cow is dead but being scared to let it go because it’s gotten them this far. The idea that the devil you know is better than the unknown, to paraphrase.
I actually do believe very much that the sun salutations were INCREDIBLY necessary for me at the time I was doing them. In fact, I think they were the single best idea the version of me that croaked ever had. But I’m past that now. I WANT to be in excellent health. I AM excellent health. I don’t have to force myself to get there. It will just happen. It just is. Like winter turns to spring.
That’s the gamble of 2013. For me and I think for Jenny too. For the Funkmeyers. That all the things we want and plan and desire will just happen in a way that is so effortless it could almost go unnoticed.
A Final Caveat
With the line of thinking I’m endorsing and subscribing to here, many many many people say things to me like “you have to DO something.” Agreed. There is a fundamental misunderstanding of the principles of effortless attraction and creation though. You don’t have to TRY to do anything. It just happens. You just find yourself waking up going to the gym. Waking up and getting invited to run on the beach. Meeting a trainer. And it sounds fun. And so you keep doing it. And nothing is forced. And yes, there’s probably a great great deal of “hard work” involved in the process. But it’s effortless as well. You just find yourself doing it without thinking about it. One moment you just feel oh it’s time to bench press now. And it’s hard and you work. But there you are. You did it. Without all of the mental baggage of training logs and days you must go and fears that at any moment you could fall off the wagon.
That’s the main thing. You can’t fall off the wagon. You are the wagon. Which wagon do you want to be. That’s the question…