On Slowness

I have never been happier, more successful, more fulfilled, more clear, or more surrounded by people who inspire me. And yet. I don’t know what the and yet is. But we’ll get there. I think that’s the point of this. When I was a wee thing, I was known as tizzy-fit Brit. For those who don’t know, Otis Funkmeyer was originally my nom de plume; my given name was Brit Wolfson. So anyway, I was known as tizzy-fit Brit. This was because I would throw tantrums. I remember in third grade being singled out for talking during class. This particular…

On Clarity

I had a moment there when I was clear. Like, really, really clear. I saw this vision. I had a TV show. I was working with all these creative crazies. People who were tripped out and weird and excited and up for things. They had funny ideas and skills and know how. Their Google wizardry made me blush. They were graduates of YouTube University. They were young and vibrant and making amazing, amazing shows. I had it there for that moment. And then things got foggy. The Ephemerality of Clarity Jenny was assaulted on a train. By teenage girls. Her…

On Professionalism

I seem to be rounding a bend of some sorts in my life. Every area of my life is going well without life-threatening obstacles for the first time I can remember. Most importantly, all of the things that are going well are the things that I actually want to be doing. As Will Smith says, “No Plan B! Plan B just distracts from Plan A.” My dream, my one and only dream, is to make a “Funkmeyers” TV show. I think I’ve actually had this dream for quite some time, but it no longer feels like future tense. I want…

On Authority

Since dying in Mexico in December, I’ve been wondering who the new me is. What does he look like? What’s changed? What’s the same? The first obvious changes seemed to be more gentleness, more desire for service, and at least a little more humility. Since coming back, I’ve tried to put all of this into action by more openly sharing my thoughts and ideas with friends, both through writing and in person. And a shocking thing seems to be happening. People are actually listening to me. I am developing a sense of personal authority. Like what I say matters. Immediately…

On Anal Healing

Ever since I first began having entheogen-induced spontaneous past-life memories in 2005, I have re-experienced vivid anal traumas. Torture, self-flagellation, concentration camps, molestation, and brutal Inquisition-style devices designed specifically to produce as much pain in the anus as possible. For so very long, I was convinced that this was because I was gay. That the deep dark secret waiting for me was that I was gay and that this was bad. Now, obviously, I have no problem with anyone else being gay but for me, this was like the worst thing I could be. Why? I don’t know. Shame I’d…

On Criticism

So after my last newsletter, I received a lot of very nice responses. Very thoughtful, very kind, very congratulatory. That kind of thing. But of course, this being the Internet and all… I also received this: Criticism I’m gonna be real honest with this one right here. It really made me angry at first. I don’t personally know the person who wrote it. I found it very rude and unnecessary. It’s like… umm.. unsubscribe. If you are trying to be helpful, like, learn to write. Stuff like that. It all came up for me. I wanted to write a big…

On Releasing

Since I hurt my back in Mexico in the story detailed in last month’s newsletter, I have mostly fallen off of my sun salutation workout regimen. These things happen. That’s why habits are so important. At the same time, I have begun to wonder if it goes a little deeper than that, considering I died in Mexico. I have begun to wonder if perhaps the dead guy’s ideas and the dead guy’s ways are not my ideas and ways. The way that this manifests in relation to the sun salutation is that for seven years, I had been rigidly, day…

On Desire

So my trip is over. Just like that. One week out of the country and I’m completely and totally over it. I am living the dreams of a 25-year old version of myself. His dreams are no longer my dreams. This has been made clear. My desire has been quenched. This is a strange and delightful feeling for me, now. But when it was still new and I was experiencing the contrast–the feeling of not liking this thing I thought I was supposed to like–it was pretty painful. In case you didn’t notice, I wrote about pain just last week,…

On Pain

I don’t know why I’m writing this one. I’ve been guided to. I would like to start by encouraging you to do what you are guided to do. The reasons become clear later. That is kind of the point of the whole thing, including what I’m writing about, pain. As the Buddha said, pain is mandatory, suffering is optional. And the capital R Real Reality is that when you are experiencing pain–especially of the psychological and spiritual variety–it’s really the suffering that is the problem. It’s what solidifies the pain sensation into something that hurts. So what we’re here to…

On Success

I happen to be sitting just outside of the “Twilight” movie premiere right now. This was not planned, at least on the personality level of existence. I keep hearing people screaming about Pattison and Kristen and this and that. I’ve actually never been this close to something of this magnitude of celebrity worship. It’s a first. The first thought that hit me as I rode by on my bike was–a little surprisingly I must say–yuck. The throngs of people waiting for a sight of these stars make me understand why political theorists develop terms like “the masses.” And it’s interesting…

On Pacing

The pace of my life is increasing. Slowly but surely. This is most obvious in the area of travel. I am moving more and more often between larger and larger distances, with greater regularity. I am losing touch with the person for whom traveling was a big deal. The idea of being excited about “a trip” doesn’t make as much sense to me as it once did. I am in motion. This sounds great. This is great. But as they say, it’s all neutral. Every situation has its own challenges, no matter how dreamlike it may appear on the outside…

On Passion

What do you want in your life? The most fundamental question of all the questions. If I could change one thing about the world, it’s that everyone I met would know in detail–in exciting, wide-eyed detail–what they want in their life. I would go so far as to say that this is the only thing “wrong” with the world. The only thing preventing what we could only call a utopia from descending upon the Earth. The fact that people, by and large, do not know, in any detail, or in any fashion, what they want their life to look like.…

On Courage

Wheewie. Phewie. Ooweeeeeee. Yup. I sit here in Bellingham, Washington having the same old feeling that you’ve heard me go on and on about time and time again. Amazement that it happened again. I left Seattle because my guidance said to leave and go to Bellingham. I had made new friends at a juggling festival who told me to come visit in Bellingham but in truth, I barely knew these people. As the time got closer for me to get on the train, I started getting text messages from them wanting to make sure I knew that they were busy…

On Clairvoyance

I consciously became a psychic in 2006 under the tutelage of Debra Katz, author of “You Are Psychic” and founder of the International School of Clairvoyance in Los Angeles. Impressive sounding lol. I unconsciously became a psychic in high school, when I realized I was better able to understand the problems someone was having with a certain class better than the teacher. I could just feel what they were having difficulty with. I could never explain it but it felt kind of uncanny, like I knew what they were going to say before they said it. I didn’t realize that…

On Dependence

Independence. In dependence. In a state of depending. Needing others. Enmeshed in a web of humanity. Needing others. Needing others.. Needing others… Not a common definition of independence, that’s for sure. Fortunately, the “common definition” of independence is like most of the rest of the decaying carcass of old reality all around us, at best a lie and at worst an insidious disinformation meme that keeps us looking outside of our immediate surroundings–friends, family, and community–toward large institutions for support and sustenance. Rugged independents drive Ford. When you’re too tough to rely on others, you smoke Marlboro. Independent housewives shop…

On Longevity

I had the opportunity to spend time with Pete Carroll at one point in my life. For those who don’t know, Carroll is one of the winningest college football coaches in the history of the game. He led the USC Trojans to a 34-game win streak and two national titles and took on the aura of a John Wooden or Knute Rockne–the coach who could do no wrong and who always had his focus in the right place, with quotes about teamwork or cooperation or… longevity–galore. One of my favorite quotes of Caroll’s goes something like For all my Israelis…

On Work Ethic

Last time I wrote you, it was 2:30 AM. This time, it’s 4AM. I still have my daily sun salutations left to do–that’s 7 of them. It has been a day of movement so things got pushed back. There is a large part of me that would rather not be doing this right now but I continue. It’s not about what I want and don’t want. It’s about my commitments. They are bigger than me. I have realized that you have to have a job. The thing that most people don’t realize is that you get to pick it. Entirely.…

On Humility

I am in San Francisco. I am actually in Oakland but it’s all the same to me at some level. I am writing this on an old friend’s couch. It is a quarter-to-three in the morning. It is my duty to write every Monday. Monday night it be. I have arrived here ostensibly for a wedding. The wedding was for a friend from high school, unrelated to the couch I’m on for what it’s worth. Both of these experiences, the wedding and the couch, have been lessons–each in their own way–in humility. Humility has been on my mind. Humility has…

On Patience

For most of my life, I had very little patience. At least in the short term. I guess I’ve always had long-term patience. The patience that makes you keep dancing even though you still suck, hoping that one day in the distant future you will be good. But that short-term patience was always in very low supply. The kind of patience that makes you take on a small project and see it through, from start to finish, without rushing. Taking the time to polish something. Doing it over and over. Focusing on process and progress rather than end results. As…

On Determination

I was watching a TED talk last night by the head of DARPA, best known as the people who created the Internet. She said that, in reality, in actual fact, her mission is to empower people to do what they would do if they knew they could not fail. And it again became clear to me. If I knew I could not fail, I would without question be the greatest street performer that ever lived. The most skilled. The most entertaining. The most life-changing. The most engaged. The most loved. The most desired. I would shine my light into the…

On Perseverance

Perseverance. In the age of 4-minute abs, 30-day transformations, liposuction, gastric bypass, internet billionaires who “did it in 2 years,” and various other tales of overnight success, perseverance feels decidedly old-fashioned. Like something your great-grandparents did. Like the name Wilbert or Hornice, George or Ethel. Like rhubarb and rutabaga. It feels dusty, like some old guy in a straw hat and overalls, out on the farm, clutching some kind of makeshift rag, wiping the sweat off his brow. In the parlance of the youth, perseverance isn’t very swaggy. And yet, perseverance is the truth beneath the great lie of our…